Jokes

[Ironhorse]

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[Zoticus]

I like pie. Ko71991 thought it was funny.

[Scorpionz]

Haha. Im Laughing SO Much...

[Livre]

At a local college, there was a dance.

A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich". She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three guys had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.

In the morning, the guy on the right said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"

The guy on the left replied "That's weird so did I"

Finally, the guy in the middle said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing"

[Matt]

LoL, "we usually put more meat in it"

And I heard the second one before. Nice.

[comic23]

lol those r good nice job.

[Apoc of Spades]

LMAO...

[AlabamaBoy]

Blonde Jokes

A blonde and a brunette are on a bus. The brunette sees a man with dandruff and says, "he needs some head and shoulders", the blonde replies, "how do you give shoulders?".

A blind man is sitting in a bar and says, "hey anyone want to hear a blonde joke?". The guy sitting next to him says "Im 6'2 and i bench 350 pounds, the bouncer carries a bat, the bartender keeps a gun under the counter and that guy over there is a tenth degree black belt...and we are all blonde, are you sure you want to tell that joke?" The blind guy says "no not if a have to explain it four times."

Question and answer blonde joke:

Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons?
Cause blonde guys aint that smart either.

BTW if you are blonde dont be offended, so am I.

[Matt]

A blind man is sitting in a bar and says, "hey anyone want to hear a blonde joke?". The guy sitting next to him says "Im 6'2 and i bench 350 pounds, the bouncer carries a bat, the bartender keeps a gun under the counter and that guy over there is a tenth degree black belt...and we are all blonde, are you sure you want to tell that joke?" The blind guy says "no not if a have to explain it four times."

lmao... and I think the first one, or somthing similar was said already.

[Livre]

LOL

Um...I dont get the first one, and no, im not a blonde before anyone asks.

[Exe]

So innocent livre LMAO!!!

[THUNDER-K9]

Dogs peeves about humans

1) Farting and blaming on them...

2) Yelling at me for barking... I'm just talking in my own language

3) Taking me for a walk and not letting me check out stuff... who's walk is it?

4) Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.... Just stop it!

5) Any hair cut that involves bows and ribbions.... Now you know why we chew stuff up!

6) Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?

I saved the best for last!!!

7) Taking me to the vet for "the BIG SNIP", then wondering why I freak out every time you take me back!

8) Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests... Don't you wish you could do that ?( I am a dog)

9)The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Woooooo-Hooooo! 0h what a proud moment for the top of the food chain!


10) How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look we both know the truth, your just JEALOUS!!!

After reading this lay off these things. We both know who's boss here. (You don't see me picking up your poop, do you?)

[Matt]

roflmfao

[o]

Wow, i've been shown the real path!

[Livre]

OMG LMFAO ;D