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Jokes
Mar 15, 2006 21:25:39 GMT -5
Post by bullseye on Mar 15, 2006 21:25:39 GMT -5
lol ive seen em both before at a friends house
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fingaz19
Chihuahua
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." - J. Hendrix
Posts: 28
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Jokes
Mar 15, 2006 22:22:04 GMT -5
Post by fingaz19 on Mar 15, 2006 22:22:04 GMT -5
heres another joke"
the TV game show was really close, one contestant was 200 points behind the leader and the host was just about to ask him the final question, worth 500 points!
"To be today's champion," the host said, "Name two of santa's reindeer."
The contestant gave a sigh, relevied that he got an easy question.
"Ok.... Rudolph, ........ and Olive!!"
The audience in the studio started to applaud (there was a little sign above their heads that told them to clap) but suddenly faded into mumbling.
the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but can you please explain Olive?"
impatiently, the contestant said "Don't you know the song!
you know:
'Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names!!"
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Two 90-year old men, Moe and Sam have been friends all their lives, sam is dying so moe comes to visit him, "sam" he says, "you know how we both loved baseball all our lives."
"yes" he replied
"well, if you go, can you tell me if there is baseball in heaven?"
"moe," sam said, "you've been my friend for many years, i'll do that for you"
and ass he said that he passes on.
it was midnight a couple days later. moe is sound asleep when a distant voice calls out to him:
moe... moe....
"who is it!" moe cries
"its me, sam... "
"sam! where are you"
"im in heaven, and ive got good news and bad news..."
"really! whats the good news?
"theres base ball in heaven, but the bad news is, you pitching on tuesday!!"
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Jokes
Mar 15, 2006 22:59:40 GMT -5
Post by Matt on Mar 15, 2006 22:59:40 GMT -5
LoL, I like that second one.
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Jokes
Mar 16, 2006 17:01:57 GMT -5
Post by Livre on Mar 16, 2006 17:01:57 GMT -5
Poor Moe  LOL |
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2006 17:57:08 GMT -5
Post by Matt on Mar 17, 2006 17:57:08 GMT -5
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2006 18:04:03 GMT -5
Post by Scorpionz on Mar 17, 2006 18:04:03 GMT -5
ROFLMFAO!
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2006 18:13:00 GMT -5
Post by Livre on Mar 17, 2006 18:13:00 GMT -5
LMAO ;D
Unicorns were on Noah's Arc? First of me knowing...
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2006 18:52:12 GMT -5
Post by Matt on Mar 17, 2006 18:52:12 GMT -5
LMAO ;D Unicorns were on Noah's Arc? First of me knowing... They werent on Noahs arc... thats the whole joke. It explains why unicorns no longer exsist. |
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Jokes
Mar 17, 2006 19:00:05 GMT -5
Post by o on Mar 17, 2006 19:00:05 GMT -5
Who wouldn't do the same thing though, if they could?
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Jokes
Mar 18, 2006 11:11:39 GMT -5
Post by CaptainUnicorn on Mar 18, 2006 11:11:39 GMT -5
Unicorns do to exist, im living proof.
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Jokes
Apr 13, 2006 5:06:24 GMT -5
Post by Scorpionz on Apr 13, 2006 5:06:24 GMT -5
Ok.
The "Jokes" Thread has died. The reason being is that too many jokes where being posted and that basicaly the thread killed itself.
This is the start of the "New Section" of the thread.
My Joke of course.
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Painful Restroom
A man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons.
There next to the paper roll were four buttons marked WW, WA, PP and ATR.
Making the mistake so many men make of not listening to a woman, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him.
He carefully pressed the WW button and immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed on his bare bottom. He thought "Wow" these gals really have it nice!!
So a little more boldly he pressed the WA button and body temperature Warm Air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably.
"Aha" he thought, "no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services!"
So he pushed the next button PP with anticipation. A soft disposable Powder Puff swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc.
"Man, this is great," he thought as he reached out for the ATR button.
When he awoke in the hospital, the morphine was just wearing off...confused he buzzed the nurse to find out what happened.
He explained the last thing he remembered was intense pain in the ladies room on the plane.
The nurse explained, "Yes, you must have been having a great time until you pushed the Automatic Tampon Removal button."
I Hate People.
Scorpionz
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Jokes
Apr 13, 2006 7:47:12 GMT -5
Post by Livre on Apr 13, 2006 7:47:12 GMT -5
LOL ;D Can we rate the jokes from now on? If so, i give that 6/10. I'm feeling mean  |
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Jokes
Apr 13, 2006 10:35:03 GMT -5
Post by hades655 on Apr 13, 2006 10:35:03 GMT -5
6.5
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Jokes
Apr 13, 2006 12:30:37 GMT -5
Post by Matt on Apr 13, 2006 12:30:37 GMT -5
ouch... Lol
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A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.
"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead".
"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"
GOD says, "So you would like them."
"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"
"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies.
The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?"
GOD says, "So they would love you!"
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Jokes
Apr 13, 2006 21:19:29 GMT -5
Post by Scorpionz on Apr 13, 2006 21:19:29 GMT -5
Lol thats about a 8/10  Exalt anyway |
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